They say that friendship between men and women is something that does not exist, if it is not within a context with ulterior motives. But there is, yes.
In fact, for the most part, they start with that interest. The placement is what will change the focus and is an excellent filter. Friendship between men and women can work and much, when interest in “something more” leaves the scene.There is much to learn from them, if there is a willingness to understand that we are part of the whole, without always being on the key, “war of the sexes.”
Building a friendship is something that takes time. And with men it takes a little longer, since they are very practical and realistic, by the way. They will always read everything that surrounds them. It is the “hunter” side of the time of the caves, analyzing the risks of the territory, whatever it is. Their mechanism is instinctive in them.
Men can be brains in moments of pure emotion. Let us be prepared to listen and ponder, for they are still educated not to show too much of their feelings and to be problem solvers.For this reason, we have the impression that they do not deal well with our cries and regrets, but it is not insensitivity on their part, this is a great injustice. When we bring it to them, it automatically gets triggered, “I need to find a solution for that.”Do not wait for a hand in the head, they will give us a logical vision and, you can be sure, that is a care that we must learn to receive. Try not to speak when they are speaking, even if that phrase comes, “Pull, I just wanted to be heard.”Automatically they look at us with that “I do not understand” face, and they will not be. They come, they talk, they do not keep repeating and they withdraw. It’s simple, that way.
Simplicity and objectivity can define men in dialogue, because for them, we are seeking help and that is what they will do. Do we want to be heard? So we should look for a female friend.
Men are great at opening our eyes, when our heart is the only one who wants to see. Incredible as they perceive and do not like to see us shaken, and if they hear and speak to us, they certainly want well and much, since, as a rule, they are usually of the act and not of the speech.Men are extremely logical. Even those who are emotional. Do not take too long in this matter, and for being more emotional we often call them cruel, in fact, this is a defense mechanism. As already quoted, they are still bred to be strong, whenever a question arises and weakness is not an option. They do not give themselves that luxury.
Men ponder everything. Sometimes they take time to make a decision because they are calculating the pros and cons. Learning this can save us from many unnecessary headaches.
Men when they are real friends are very loyal. Have you noticed how much they defend each other? That same loyalty is extended to us women, if there is a greater understanding on our part.
Respect for them is above love; in fact, they do not untie one thing from the other.
We ask so much to be understood, heard, respected. They do it, the way they do. They feel valued when we ponder everything they tell us. They like the “super man being fired” side.
The opposite also occurs. Let’s pay attention. When they realize that it’s no use, they walk away, they do not waste time. The cut becomes surgical. And this may seem indifferent, but it is only because we have not given due value to the time they have spent in listening to us and trying to find a solution.We are good at feeling, noticing between lines and they are good at broader vision. And when we put that together, it can be very rewarding. Just let it flow and respect each other. They enjoy being respected as much as we enjoy. It is not to abide by what they say, it is to ponder. They admire women who think for themselves, that suffice.The fact that they know that we are thinking about what they tell us already leaves them satisfied. And tell them it was a big help, all right, we won a friend.The majority, of course, are looking for something “more”. Positioning respectfully, without being aggressive, will make them shy and respect, and will be a great filter to know if it is worth it or not to have it as a friend; in fact, it will be a filter for them too, that they win a friend. It can be a positive exchange, in these times so confusing.
Funny how we still defend ourselves for having a man friend. It sounds blasphemous. It sends us back to the primary, girls on one side, boys on the other.
Some will say that this is cultural, social, tribal etc … being almost impossible to occur. If a man says this is impossible, we will know, there will always be an interest behind any conversation. This is not a friend and never will be.To deconstruct this deeply rooted concept in our society can be very valuable. Because, instead of dividing and conquering, we could unite and improve.