I’ve been single for four years and no one is apologizing for it.
The last four years have been the most revolutionary and productive of my life.
In my free journey, I have not only achieved my personal and professional goals, but have also learned and unlearned my many desires and needs in a perfect relationship.
It was not an easy start – to be honest, being single was not entirely my choice. I felt like calling the ex or trying to convince myself that that guy could be more than he really was – he never was.
There are challenges – some are painful and lonely times, but during my discovery, I was committed to seeing all positive light in the times when I was in the dark.
Here are 6 perfect truths that will make you feel alive while you are single and will prepare you to meet the ideal person.
Truth # 1: Your future love walks on this earth with you
It’s 7:20 in the morning, I’m sitting at my favorite coffee shop, writing, sipping my latte and enjoying Kygo’s new album, “Kids In Love.”
I am enjoying all the abundance and gratitude in my life and I am feeling happy – really happy.
And besides, the reality that right now, my future partner is somewhere on this earth, smiling from ear to ear.
Somewhere in this world, my life partner is out there.
Maybe we’ll meet or maybe we’ll meet later this week. Maybe he’s still in a relationship that he believes to be the “one” or maybe he’s dating everyone as an idiot.
Maybe I’m doing the same …
Maybe we’ve dated once but we’ve been separated to pursue our purpose and maybe we’ll meet again when our timing is right.
Or maybe he’s in a moment of discovery, just like me.
It’s a lot of maybe, but they can be realistic possibilities.
Knowing that my future partner walks on earth at the very moment that I, calms my heart.
It is a reminder that it is not under our control to meet when we want, but at the perfect moment.
Truth # 2: Embrace the lull before the perfect storm
The time to find and commit to my perfect partner is the day when my whole life will change. It’s not just about me, but about him and his well-being.
What does he think, how does he feel and what does he want to eat, anyway ?! See, it’s complicated!
I will have a new focal point in my life – it will be him.
The last four years of my life have been a selfish journey.
I considered for myself, I asked for it, I made decisions that left the room just for me and my passions and that’s how I achieved my successful career in my life – thank you.
But throughout my accomplishments, I have realized that I have no one to share positive moments with.
I know things will change when I meet my partner – so it’s as important to embrace the time I have for myself, I still have.
The perfect truth is that I have this time to build myself to be the best version of myself every day , that’s all I can control.
And that’s perfect.
Truth # 3: Dating all “unique” will help set the “single” perfect for you
My best moments of being single are the times I had to discover all the incredible and good, not so amazing sea fish.
Some of them were idiots – and okay! At least, you know, right?
You name it any way you want. I named it.
From nerds to technology nerds, emotionally inaccessible to “very” available, white collar, blue collar, peter pans, strangers, fighters and guys who flew a lot.
I have a lot of dating resume, but this is the richest part of the journey.
Whether it is a serious or casual chapter, endless dating is the antidote to finding all the perfect ingredients in the things you want for yourself and do not want in your future partner.
Although I’m in discovery mode, I do not have a few experiences to help me realize and value my partner when I find him.
It’s one of those moments. “I’ll know when I know.”
Truth # 4: You’ll Plan Your Life Too Rush
Having a lot of time while you’re single is a good reason for a single to feel scared to be in this position.
In the four years of my free life, I have planned a busy life so well that I can not afford to think about it.
Like, I’m sorry – but I do not.
I chose to focus on the actions that I can do every day to create events, lifestyle and attract people that I want to attract into my life.
The truth is you need to be busy. You need to project a life that you deserve and on your journey to build a “busy” life, you will discover its fullness.
Over time, you will be single and fabulous, create a life you want to share with your future partner.
Truth # 5: Build Your Self-Confidence for You and Your “Only” Love
If you know me, you know I’m often narcissistic, I believe in myself with conviction.
I have an insanely chaotic mind and I have insecurities that I still find sexy and charming.
I’m confident who I am and that’s my highest quality – thank you.
I’ve never felt so beautiful as in the days, weeks and months that I’ve spent investing in myself.
Being single allows me to venture into the deepest, darkest and most beautiful parts of my mind, body and spirit and bring everything to life.
And guess what?
Before finding the “unique”, I will enter the relationship with confidence, love and security to add in his life, not withdraw.
Truth # 6: Your “Now” Only Happens Once
Steve Jobs described this perfectly when he said, “You can not connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them by looking back. ”
“So you have to trust that the points will connect somehow in your future.”
While I’m sipping my latte, looking around this cafe, writing all my thoughts and ready to share with the world, I realized that every action I do at this point is an action in the direction of attracting my perfect partner.
I may not realize how much impact my actions are making for a greater future, but I’ll be able to connect the dots looking back.
It’s a beautiful phenomenon, is not it?
This last truth inspires me to create and make the most of the memories to try everything once, in my own way, before finding my “one”.
I’m going to drink this latte as if it were mine forever, to stay in this peaceful, motionless mentality as if it’s the last time I’ve got myself alone and cherish every moment that I experience today as if perfectly planned for me – I’ll be ready to share a world with him.
And it will be perfection.
Until then, I’ll be in the “now” and accept all the abundance at the right time that I have for myself – for myself.