When two people are in a relationship, especially if it is a long-standing relationship, apart from loving each other and having several affinities in common, it is often expected that the two will share life and think about sharing projects and a future together, something which requires quite a maturity of each of them.
However, when one of the parties does not act exactly as an adult, it may be that these projects and the future of the couple are compromised. For example, imagine a mature, college-educated woman who is working, dreams of having a home and car of her own, and who wants to start a family, dating a guy who does not care much for tomorrow and looks like another brat It’s kind of complicated, is not it?
The problem is that when people are in love, it can be a bit harder to realize the partner’s failures and to identify if the loved one is really a man or just a kid who does not want much commitment in life. So, to help clear up the ideas a bit, let’s present a list of the 10 signs that you’re dating a brat, not a man:
1. He has no ambition
If your boyfriend is young, it is normal that from time to time he distracts from the focus of college or work, but if he does not have a plan for the future, or at least an idea of what to do with his life, be a sign that he has not yet matured.
Do not misunderstand, not everyone has the obligation or the vocation to do a college, but there comes a time in life when you simply can not just sit on the couch of your mother’s house – or your girlfriend – playing video games day as time goes on outside.
If your boyfriend is really worried about the future, he will have some planning in the future, some profession he would like to pursue, or a career that even if it does not require a degree, can guarantee livelihood and independence .
2. You look like his mother
In a relationship, it is normal that from time to time one needs the help of the other to perceive a situation or perform some type of task. The problem is when you have to say exactly what he needs to do, as if it were his mother!
Watch for signs! If it’s you who wakes him up in the morning so he will not be late for some important appointment or who stays on top of him so the boy does not forget to do and deliver a college job, for example, we have some evidence there that you’re dealing with more with a son than with a boyfriend.
3. Does not care about sexual protection
A mature man who knows that it is not time to have children will certainly do his part in protecting you when you have sex and you will always have a condom to use in intimate times with your partner. Already a kid will not care much for this and will think that it is the girlfriend who needs to take care and take the contraceptive pill.
If you’ve had to warn your partner about condom use and have heard him say sometimes that if you take the pill, that’s OK, pay more attention to whether you’re dealing with an irresponsible kid instead of a responsible man.
4. He’s needlessly jealous
While boys tend to be insecure and may find that any guy who comes to you, or talks to you, has ulterior motives and is a threat to the relationship, a man is more confident and will probably believe you and the story that the two have together.
Of course, feeling jealous once in a while is normal – after all we are all human beings – but maturity shows itself in the way a person acts in relation to that feeling. If the guy is a kid, he will certainly be stressed and possessive, wanting to stop you from talking to some other guy or impinging on the outfit you wear.
On the other hand, the confident man will know how to talk to you, admitting that he really felt jealous, but betting on dialogue to solve the problem.
5. He is a mess
It is certain that the house of men who live alone is not always clean and tidy, but a little organization does not hurt anyone, does it? Your boyfriend’s house does not have to be spotless, but if you come in there you will find clothes on the couch and on the floor of the room, a pile of dishes to wash, pizza boxes and food containers thrown in any corner, in addition to of the place pretend not to receive a good cleaning for months, this is a sign that he may still be living in the world of university republics.
It’s even worse if you do the housekeeping every time you go there. One must admit that there comes a time when we all mature and simply can not live in the midst of the mess. If he does not have the talent or time to house the house, he can at least hire a cleaning lady to do the job.
6. He is always in debt
When someone gets the first paycheck from the first job of their life, they may wind up getting too excited and spending more than they should on the paycheck. The problem is when this habit repeats itself constantly.
One of the signs of a man’s maturity – or anyone else’s – is his ability to control financially. This means knowing how much you earn in the month, how much you can spend and how much you must save to achieve your future projects. If your boyfriend receives his salary one day and the next week he has already toyed with all the money – even if he is partly buying gifts to please you – this may be a hint of runawayness, impulsivity, and he is not thinking too much in the long run deadline.
7. He do not stop at Working
Let’s face it, once or twice in life most of us have been or will still be fired or will quit a job. It’s even normal, there are cases where we do not fit into the work style of a company or find that role is not exactly what we want to do for the rest of our lives.
The dangerous question is when the person can not stop at any work and lives changing profession. If this is the case with your boyfriend, this indicates that he still does not know what he wants to do with life, which can hinder the planning of a more solid future together.
Of course you can try to help him by giving advice and suggesting that he talk to a vocational counselor. However, if he can not break this cycle at all, it is a case of thinking if this instability is not the result of immaturity.
8. During a fight, he insults you
It is practically impossible to find a couple who have never fought. After all, they are two different people together, so at a time or another a disagreement will arise and this can result in a more serious discussion. However, although a fight is unpleasant, it is an excellent opportunity to analyze how people act in more tense situations.
If when you fight, instead of sticking to the argument that caused the disagreement, your boyfriend usually appeals and does not present arguments to support your point of view, making personal insults to you, even if they have nothing to do with there’s a good chance he’s still a kid.
This is because he does not admit to being wrong and wants to win the argument at any cost, even if it means hurting the feelings of the woman he says he loves. A man knows how to recognize when he is wrong and when it is time to end a discussion that will lead nowhere, even if he is right. He will prefer to leave the conversation for later, than to run the risk that the two will exalt themselves and take offense.
9. He makes tantrums
Do you want something more childlike than tantrums when you can not get what you want? Well, it may be that your boyfriend does not open the shout like a child, but if at the moment things do not go the way of him, he acts like a little boy closing his face, complaining all the time and insisting that you do his desire, this is also a form of tantrum.
10. He flirts with other women
When a man is with a woman, he feels happy next to her and wants to keep her close to him for a long time, what reason would he have to go out there and flirt with other women?
An immature and insecure youngster may find that attracting the attention of other girls, even if he does not intend to relate to them, is a way of positioning himself as a man and showing that he is desired. In addition to being a super childish attitude, the guy who does this disrespects his girlfriend and the other women. And here for us, what mature woman would want to relate to a boy who needs that kind of thing?
